What Is a Trigger? ‘I remember my friend trying to talk to me about something quite small, but as soon as they started, I could feel myself getting tense. It was like I’d already decided they were criticising me, even though they weren’t. I stopped really listening and felt this rush of anger come up. My tone changed, I became defensive, and before I knew it, I’d snapped at them and said some awful things. Afterwards, I knew my reaction didn’t match what had actually happened, but in the moment, it felt completely real and justified. Why does this happen?’ (Client) This is something that can happen often, and it can leave us feeling shame, confusion, and upset. So why does this happen? It may be that you have been triggered. A trigger is anything that brings up a strong emotional reaction—often quickly and sometimes unexpectedly. It can be a situation, a tone of voice, a memory, or even a look from somebody. In the example above, the trigger was receiving feedback that felt like an att...
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